Tips for loved ones Archives - Page 2 of 3

What do I say to my kids about cancer?

What do I say to my kids about cancer? One of the first things mums often think about when they are told they have cancer is how it’s all going to affect the people they love, especially their children. Thoughts swirl around like “what to do I tell the kids?” “they are going to be so scared” “kids just don’t understand this stuff”. Parents worry about whether they should delay telling children until they know more about what’s happening or have a ‘better’ time. Lots of the scary thoughts that show up aren’t true; they are bubbling up out of fear. And that’s not only fear from parents, it’s often from others who may believe that children need to be shielded from cancer or...

Meditation 101

Meditation 101 Yep, most people say that it’s a great idea, but they just can’t do it. It’s almost like the calm people that seem able to mediate are the very people that don’t need to! Is it chicken or egg though? Who knows, who cares? The point is that meditation comes in lots of different ‘flavours’ and it has documented emotional and physical health benefits. It’s quite the fasion at the moment. Orange isn’t the new black, it’s meditation. So, there’s lots of different ways we can meditate, but a big misconception is that it’s all about 'emptying the mind'. Temping, but impractical. I am going to talk a bit about mindfulness meditation, which has become popular because its achievable, practical, portable (!) - and...

When you have lost someone you love at Christmas

When you have lost someone you love at Christmas Christmas is a time of the year when we think about who we want to spend time with, what we enjoy, who we love and care about and how we show them. Of course, there’s the presents and the tinsel and the food (and the arguments!) but the season is, at the heart of it all, about love. So, it is not easy if someone you love isn’t here anymore. It might be the first Christmas without them, or many (many) years on. Perhaps the pain and hurt of that loss is intense and present every minute of every day, or perhaps it’s softened with time; but it’s still there and it’s worth acknowledging it...

Coping with Christmas and coping with cancer

Coping with Christmas and coping with cancer Seeing the first decorations and marshmallow Santas in the shops reminds us that Christmas, and all it brings, is approaching. It is called the “silly season” for good reason as a time of giving, joy, thanks, relaxation and indulgence! Getting to this point has its challenges, however. Let’s think; there’s the family politics to entangle (whose turn is it to host, who refuses to be in the same room as whom), presents to buy (battling for a car park, finding something for the “woman who has everything” and then finding a way to pay for it all), the food to organise and eat (discussions about turkey vs ham vs seafood, or all three somehow elaborately rolled together a...

Being a dad and coping with cancer

Being a dad and coping with cancer. Father’s Day is a perfect opportunity to think about the special men and boys in our lives. When we look at the greeting cards, they often present one big bunch of cliché’s. There's dad mowing the lawn, dad drinking beer, watching sport, playing golf or fixing something (the cycling/lycra thing doesn’t seem to have made it onto a greeting card yet, oh, yeah…right…now I get it…!). Although it’s such a stereotype, dads seem to be defined by “doing stuff”. Consequently, lots of the men I talk to find this a pretty hard part of having cancer treatment or recovering from it. Not being able to do things like they used to do is a big source of frustration. As a...

What about sex?

What about sex?? When you are first diagnosed, often thoughts are all about survival and what on earth it might be like to get through surgery and other treatments. Yes, it’s true that you might think about how you or your partner might react to changes in your body, scars or differences in sensations; but often those thoughts are ‘shelved’ for a bit while the whirlwind of appointments and treatment demands gets going. After cancer treatment, women and men can have concerns about their sexual and intimate lives that, if they are ignored, can become long-term problems. Changes to the way you think about yourself and your body, fatigue, pain, losses or changes in sensation (such as in the skin, nipples, penis), erectile changes, loss…

What do I need to prepare for hospital?

What do I need to prepare for hospital? With so many other things to think about, it can be daunting to decide what you need to get ready for hospital if you are going to have surgery. It’s a good idea to ask the doctor how long you are likely to be in hospital for (depending on the surgery, they can usually give you some idea!). Here’s some things that might be useful in your kit :- Prepare a “Health CV”. What’s that?! It’s a basic summary of your medical history; what you have been treated for in the past, any allergies, medications etc. You will be asked lots of times in the coming months for this type of information and it’s good to have…

How to get a good night’s sleep

How to get a good night’s sleep It can be sooo frustrating when you are tired but just can’t seem to go to sleep. First of all you are seriously not alone! Not that it helps knowing it really. Have a proper talk with your treating team and GP about what can help. They will have other ideas, medicines and problem-solving ideas that can help you. But, until then if you need some practical tips on how to get a good night’s sleep, here’s some ideas. 12 practical tips to help you sleep: Set up a pre-bed routine. Put on PJs, wash, teeth etc and then try to go to bed when you first feel sleepy and are yawning (if this is before 9 you...

20 practical ways to support someone with cancer

Twenty practical things you can do to support someone with cancer. When someone you know and love has been diagnosed with cancer, the first thought is how can I help them? What do they need? Here’s a list of twenty practical ways to support someone with cancer. Let them know you care. Help with errands (dog walking, groomers), house chores or with childcare, play dates and trips to and from school. Make a support team (try lotsahelpinghands.com) who can help with the things your friend needs. If you are close, offer to be the person who manages a group e-mail on what’s happening, field e-mails and so on; it can be overwhelming (especially with so many appointments to get to). Offer to make phone calls if…

Being a mum and having treatment for cancer

Being a mum and having treatment for cancer. If you are having treatment for cancer, Mother’s Day can seem just that bit more meaningful. For some, having been diagnosed with cancer is a pretty new idea to be getting used to. Often, one of the first thoughts that mums have when they are diagnosed is how the whole performance is going to affect the people they love. If they have young children, it can all be about what to say or how to help them understand and cope. And mums don’t stop worrying once the kids get older (even if they are all grown-up!). The “mother-guilt” thing is so easily woven into the job description. Not having the energy to catch up with family, the…