• Cancer treatment needs. Treasures for loved ones.
Home / Help for patients / Being a dad and coping with cancer

Being a dad and coping with cancer

I Love You Dad and heres why2

Being a dad and coping with cancer.

Father’s Day is a perfect opportunity to think about the special men and boys in our lives. When we look at the greeting cards, they often present one big bunch of cliché’s. There’s dad mowing the lawn, dad drinking beer, watching sport, playing golf or fixing something (the cycling/lycra thing doesn’t seem to have made it onto a greeting card yet, oh, yeah…right…now I get it…!).

Although it’s such a stereotype, dads seem to be defined by “doing stuff”.  Consequently, lots of the men I talk to find this a pretty hard part of having cancer treatment or recovering from it. Not being able to do things like they used to do is a big source of frustration.  As a result, they try to do things all in one go, get exhausted and cranky and then are wiped out for the next day (or more!).

Or worse – many men stop doing the activities they enjoy until they “feel better” or until they can do things exactly as they used to, or only want to try when the symptoms (like fatigue or leaking urine) go away. The problem is, it’s the doing things they enjoy that helps with the recovery and building of fitness – all which helps in getting a life back.

So, let’s remind the men in our lives that they are worth so much more than just the “doing”.

But let’s also support them to not stop the “doing” altogether.

Just in case you were wondering, kids (big and small) often just want time with dad – it doesn’t have to be a task, something teachable or to have a purpose. Dads who are really ill worry that they might not have shown their kids everything in the “dad manual” about life. Really, the only important bit in that manual that kids are interested in is that their dad is interested in them; and that they are loved. Pretty simple stuff!

So, if you’re a dad, just enjoy your Father’s day! And get stuck into living your life in any way you can.

And my final piece of advice for today

– don’t play Monopoly! How to cheat at Monopoly must on the first page of the abovementioned “dad manual” and we’re all wise to dad’s suggestion that he be the bank… No. Just no!
J&J xx