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Being a mum and having treatment for cancer

Its okay to be you

Being a mum and having treatment for cancer.

If you are having treatment for cancer, Motherā€™s Day can seem just that bit more meaningful.

For some, having been diagnosed with cancer is a pretty new idea to be getting used to.Ā  Often, one of the first thoughts that mums have when they are diagnosed is how the whole performance is going to affect the people they love. If they have young children, it can all be about what to say or how to help them understand and cope. And mums donā€™t stop worrying once the kids get older (even if they are all grown-up!). The ā€œmother-guiltā€ thing is so easily woven into the job description.

Not having the energy to catch up with family, the idea of bacon and eggs at 7am being revolting, struggling to get to the shops to find something special for your own mum or feeling anxious or miserable are all ways that mums can feel. Sure, you might feel that on any day (!) but, especially on motherā€™s day, it can be hard to say so.

So remember a couple of things…

So remember a couple of things about being a mum and having treatment: just because you think you should spin plates on sticks with a bow in your hair does not mean that it is (a) expected (b) necessary or (c) achievable.Ā  This whole treatment thing will have its ups and downs and it is OK to be kind to yourself. Being ā€˜positiveā€™ is something others talk about but the very idea and pressure of it can feel overwhelming. Just take it a day at a time. An hour at a time if need be.

Your moods might resemble a roller-coaster (especially if the treatments are messing with your hormones!) so warn others. No seriously!

Motherā€™s day is supposed to be about the mums (some of whom struggle to put themselves first; (whisper it) Iā€™m speaking to you). So just do what you enjoy, have a rest if you want to, if you get emotional itā€™s OK (thatā€™s a price we pay for knowing love) and accept hugs, chocolate, bubbles or the TV remote or whatever else you need to nourish your heart.Ā  J&J xx